Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
