So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
