ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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