I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
