Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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