do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
