You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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