You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
