Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
