i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
