I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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