how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You made out with two different species that night
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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