The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
