There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
