Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
