Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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