He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
