Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
