it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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