note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
