How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
