I wanna bring you to show and tell
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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