His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
