Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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