Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
