i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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