So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
