she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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