im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I am spending my child support on dildos
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
