How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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