There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
