kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
