the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
