Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
