He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
