No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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