Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We need to feng shui this bitch.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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