so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
