Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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