We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
