Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
