i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
