please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
