Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
