69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
