you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
