he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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