you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
