how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
