yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
