dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
