I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
